Not “hate” hate, but I spent a lot of money there once and the ice cream did not taste like ice cream. I can’t feel outside of my stomach – it’s a ball of stone. They exchange some secret words and continue staring into my window, mocking my condition. Am I dead? I feel dead… I reach over the queen sheets and press my hand on the mattress… Press, Erliss. Scrolling through Facebook, I see a pianist friend posted his video of Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven.” I listen to his fingers sing “Will you know my name, if I saw you in heaven…” Today is Memorial Day. My husband walked in the bedroom and opened the blinds about an hour ago. My chin to my knees, I melt into their vocalizations as the door towers above, Mocking whispers tell me stories of their conquest. Their hands on my ankles my shoulders my thighs my waist my neck my eyes my throat Leviathan and Behemoth and a thousand tongues screamed in unison You can do it.īut the only portal to my salvation erupted with flames and smoke and epic hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, asteroidsĪll the beasts of the air the beasts of the water the beasts of the sky I stood, and something gripped my throat – creepy slimy voice “You are going to die today, Erlisssssssssss.”īut the door was angry – It’s fiery bones pulsated as I reached towards it My heart beat so hard it felt like a machete thrusting through my sternum. Stretch our your arm so you can feel your coat sleeve. I really tried leaving the house at 3:15 for therapy. I tried leaving the house at 3:15 for therapy. But I went to put on my shoes and could not feel my feet and thought I might fall and fall and fall
I tried leaving the house at 1 to attend a book study at work. I tried leaving the house at 11 to go to a meeting, but my body was fused to my bed like a mosquito on fly paper.
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